EXT. A SMALL CAFE IN THE CITY. LUNCH-HOUR RUSH.

DANIEL DENNETT sits opposite THOMAS NAGEL. NAGEL is dressed casually. DENNETT is dressed rather sharply (business suit?), but slouches in his chair. He pokes at his lunch, which consists of two bowls: one filled with a lumpy soup, and one completely empty.

NAGEL: Look, you wanted soup, so I got you soup of the day. It's not my fault you got two bowls, and it's not my fault that the soup du jour turned out to be quail. Who would have thought, at this dive?

DENNETT: I can't tell which one I want.

NAGEL: It's a simple question.

DENNETT: For you maybe.

NAGEL: Just send it back if you don't like it.

DENNETT: I like quail. I just...

NAGEL: What?

DENNETT: Well they're both sort of quail-ey.

NAGEL: That's even easier, if you'll just listen to me! Which one is quailey-er?

DENNETT stares at the bowls ferociously. The conversation is over for NAGEL, who grins briefly, leans back, and tucks in his serviette.

DENNETT: (Slowly) Urrrrrrrrr!

DENNETT clambers over the table and begins to eat NAGEL's brain.

FADE OUT.

Feelings and experiences vary widely. For example, I run my fingers over sandpaper, smell a skunk, feel a sharp pain in my finger, seem to see bright purple, become extremely angry.

- The poor tormented souls at the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy